You call that a diet?

I hold nothing back when it comes to what is the hardest part of this whole biggest loser thing: diet. My diet is bad. Bad is not a strong enough adjective. Fucking awful almost cuts it. Food is amazing. Food is wonderful. Food makes me happy. I am also pickier than a  Senior cheerleader at the high school dance.

If one more person tells me that “you can’t outrun a bad diet” I just may murder them. I love bad food, I hate good food, and I am surprisingly well versed in diet in relation to weight loss and body transformation. I know that what I am putting into my body is, in many cases, the wrong choice. Reminding me does us no good. Helping me find alternatives is helpful.

While I type this, I suppose it’s fair to mention that beer and ipadI’ve blown my calorie count for the day and the beer I’m drinking is not helping.

I’ve nailed down breakfast. Either a jar of Peanut Butter Chocolate Overnight Oats, or something simple like whole wheat toast and a couple of slices of bacon. The oats I make in three-day batches and they are tasty, 220 calories, and if my kid gets a hold of them it’s not that big of a deal. Toast is easy enough, and bacon I bake a pound at a time and freeze. Toss a couple of slices in the microwave for 20 seconds and your golden. The key, for me of the parenting type, is to be in and out of the kitchen in less than a minute. Otherwise the toddler decides the kitchen is a super cool place to play.

Breakfast is easy (and at least I’m having breakfast now!)

Lunch, is another matter. Days at home with the toddler I can usually eat when he goes down for a nap. Lately it’s been an egg white sandwich on whole wheat toast with a slice of mild cheddar and bacon. All in, about 365 calories. Sometimes I’m lucky enough to have some dinner leftovers, which is usually some sort of chicken thing. Work days I’m lucky if I get to eat anything other than a yogurt cup.

Dinner consists mostly of chicken. So much chicken. Pinterest is our friend, yay for garlic and brown sugar chicken. The struggle is finding something to go with the chicken. I hate vegetables. Guys, you can’t save me, don’t bother making suggestions. Green vegetables are the worst. They taste like grass (yes, I know what a lawn taste like, don’t ask) and can’t be redeemed. Non-green vegetables (Carrots!) taste amazing with brown sugar, or honey, or lots of butter, or… wait that fucking doesn’t help anything. If a person hates vegetables, and is trying to eat healthier, what does one have with all that chicken? The answer is red potatoes. 

Here is the difficult part: work. I work at a very popular pizza joint (18 years Madison’s Most Popular Pizza as voted on by Madison Magazine Readers). They are very kind to us and supply us with free food throughout the day/night. I love pizza. I love our pizza. I would eat a lot of pizza. I have been very good lately and have been avoiding the free pizza (I didn’t on Tuesday and it was the best fucking slice of pizza I have had in my life.) The days I work are a constant struggle with temptation. The last few weeks I’ve made sure to bring a yogurt cup to get me through a shift. Thankfully, my hatred of vegetables has helped in that they like to give us a lot of free pizzas with lots of vegetables on them and instead of picking them off, I just turn my nose up like some kind of pizza snob. (The answer is Pepperoni, BTW).

I always have a good week (last week) followed by a not-so-good-week (It’s only Thursday?) I figure if I can at least maintain that then I’ll get somewhere. Eventually.

So you can’t outrun a bad diet, but I’ll keep on trying.

Wednesday weigh-in 182.0lbs. These size 12 Rockstar jeans are looking pretty sweet right now.

IMG_1785

Fuck.

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Author: blyther

There isn't much to say. I'm a bartender, a mom, a wife, a daughter, a pain-in-the-ass. I like movies and music. I like to talk too much about things I don't fully understand. I have a limited grasp on politics, government, life, and love. What I do have is so many opinions on random crap. So welcome to my depository for the things floating in my brain as they are being purged out via keyboard.

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