In absence I eat (and drink)

It’s been awhile. That happens. Life does it’s thing, which usually involves taking you for a ride you didn’t ask to go on. I like to tell myself that I will budget time better, but I always know it’s a bit of a white lie.

It’s not easy trying to juggle parenthood and a work schedule. Throw into that a house that has a sudden vendetta against you, and a toddler that is getting molars, and well, this isn’t the roller coaster I thought I was getting on. Best we can do is take it day-to-day and keep chugging forward.

Mix all this together and you get tighter jeans.

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It’s been almost three months since the end of Biggest Loser and I’m barely maintaining a once a week presence at the gym. Some weeks are better than others. I have only fluctuated weight a couple of pounds, but I can tell I’ve been losing muscle, which means I’m offsetting it with fat. This is largely due to a terrible schedule which drives me to eat whatever I can get my hands on, whenever I can get it.

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Sure there are healthy meal and snack options out there, but previous posts have made it pretty clear that I’m a picky eater and I am not one to knosh on raw carrots (or any vegetables for that matter). In addition to poor eating habits, I’ve been enjoying a beer (or two) on a nightly basis. I love me some beer, and we’ve had some really great beer on tap at work. It’s hard to turn down a free beverage after a long shift when you know it’s only going to be on the line for a few days.

 

 

 

I told myself I wouldn’t fall into this trap, as Biggest Loser was tying up. However, a lack of funds kept me from signing up for classes. A toddler who shits himself 30 minutes into a workout (I swear to god that kid is running his bowel movements on a timer that is based on my workouts), makes maintaining momentum impossible. Now we’ve hit the terrible two’s and second molars, and so pleasing the child has been difficult. Which means I don’t get the workouts I want, when I want. tantrum.gif

I can keep making up excuses, trust me, I’m pretty fucking good at it.  What it really comes down to is putting my foot down and demanding me time. Something I have never been good at. Telling other people “no” does not come easy to me. Being the people pleaser keeps me from doing things for me.

caring too much.gifAs a co-worker stated the other day, I have to learn to take care of me before I take care of others (with the exception of the bi-polar demon child). That means saying “no”, that means going to the gym when I want to go to the gym, it also means turning down a free beer and maybe skipping the peanut butter cookie (brushes crumbs off her keyboard).

So how does one say “no” when it’s in her nature to say “yes?” Not asking for a friend, legit trying to teach myself such a simple task.

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Well it’s done and over

ImAwesomeI did it. I completed it. I finished the Biggest Loser Program at Princeton Club. I’m happier for it, a little healthier, and feeling pretty optimistic. My only regret is not being able to continue with classes as finances are pretty abysmal right now.

Overall it was a great experience. I could have had a stronger showing, but diet is a real sticking point for me. I have picked up a few better habits in my diet, so that’s a win.

A few take aways:

  • I really love strength training. I feel very zen. I get to feel stronger. Eventually I will bench press … something large and heavy. I’ll get back to you all on that one.
  • I still have shitty endurance. This one will take a lot of time. If my endurance ever comes around that is. Calisthenics are still my downfall. I can’t decide which I hate more, Mountain Climbers or Burpees.
  • I maybe, just maybe, can be a runner.

Today I had to convince myself to NOT go to the gym. I went six days in a row. My body is tired and needs rest. Yet I had that urge to go in this morning. I’m saving it for tomorrow. The husband and I have already discussed it and I’m keeping some of my routine the same, including my 7:45 a.m. workouts.

Now I need a new goal. Something to keep me motivated. I’ve been thinking about Warrior Dash or Tough Mudder. Obstacle courses look insanely fun and I’m excited to try one. Maybe even shoot for a 5k this summer. Who knows. There are so many options, it’s time to sit down and pick one.

Final Weigh-in: 172.4 lbs

Today’s measurements: 40-35-45 WeDidIt.gif

ohnopony.gifP.s. Old Navy’s size charts can go fuck themselves. I’m very comfortably and happily wearing a Large top and size 12 jeans, not the XL/16 that they recommend.

P.p.s Someone would tell me if I’m not pulling off my current clothing size, wouldn’t they?

Last week and I’m dying

I wd89184ce-cc54-4b23-b4ec-c8d1634995c7-888-000002478722bfe2ant a cookie so bad. A great big chewy peanut butter cookie.

Also pizza.

Beer too. Want/need a beer.

The scale has not tipped in my favor this week. My weight has not changed since Saturday. It’s actually up a pound from this time last week. I want to say that I’ve been super good about food, but when your kid shoves a mini Famous Amos cookie in your face you eat it. He did that twice on Monday. Aside from that though I’ve been good. No beer, no soda, fat free milk in my lattes. I’m hitting my macros every day. I can do this.

Yesterday I went in for the Infrared Body Wrap. It was basically a vinyl cover that emitted heat. The whole process was 45 minutes and incredibly relaxing. The weight of the cover, plus the heat made for an easy nap. I came out feeling relaxed and ready to go on with the day. I can’t say that it actually did anything. I didn’t sweat, but I don’t normally, even at the gym. I get the impression you have to do it multiple times for multiple weeks before seeing any actual results. They claim the average person burns 900 calories but I can’t attest to that. I would actually do it again, if I had $95 to randomly throw at people for a nap.

Only three days left to final weigh-in. Hit the gym for a brief set of Tabatas and a little run. Then I got to change a leaking, poop diaper. Kids, man. Gym tomorrow and work. Gym Sunday, weigh-in, work, then pizza and beer.

Goal is still 170 lbs on Sunday; 168 will put me at 10% weight loss. I won’t win or even place, as I was told the top three women are all already at 20%. But goals are important to me and one of my teams still has a chance at placing in the top three.

Weigh-in: 175.0 lbs

Cliche alert:

We’re in the final week of Biggest Loser and I’m feeling pretty proud of myself.

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I’m also feeling like a bit of a grump because I have cut calories to around 1100 a day, cut most carbs, and refuse to have a beer until Sunday. (Please hold out, please hold out, please hold out).

In the second half of the program I have done better than expected. My diet still isn’t great. I’m not hitting the targets that my trainers would have liked me to. But they can suck a rock. Those diets suck and I’m a healthy and mostly happy individual. I’m more active than I have been in years and I’m losing weight at about 1.5 lbs a week. It’s not the 2-3 lbs a week they would like to have seen, but remember, I wasn’t in this for the extreme weight loss.

I am definitely getting stronger, which means more muscle, which means the scale is a bullshit judge of success.

In saying that, however, I am one of the more successful members of my teams. I’m seeing a better weight loss than most members. I am seeing a huge improvement in strength and endurance. My trainers are very happy with my progress in class and I have been class MVP twice!

On Thursday, I am doing an Infrared Body Wrap as a last-ditch effort to make my final goal by Sunday. I have two free sessions from the whole MVP thing and while it sounds like bullshit, it is free. I do this for Science! There will definitely be a report back on results.

Only seven days remain. My final goal is 170 lbs at Sunday’s final weigh-in. I’ve got my mind-set and I know I can hit that goal. If I can push it to 168, that will put me at 10% weight loss in the 12 weeks.

Saturdays weigh-in: 175.6 lbs. Longest plank time recorded at 1:50!

And then there is one of those days

Some days you have a solid workout. Hit your target reps. Increase your weights. Lose a few pounds on the scales. 

And then some days you take a 12 pound medicine ball to the face. 

Today, I took a 12 pound medicine ball to the face. My own fault, really. I was starting my second set of four in a four part circuit. I grabbed my 12 pound medicine ball and slammed it into the ground as hard as I could, and next thing I know I’m checking to be sure I have all my teeth and recovering my thankfully-still-in-tact glasses from the floor. 

Apparently I grabbed the wrong medicine ball. 

I’ve done ball slams a hundred times and never had the ball come up more than a few feet, so the fact that it bounced right back into my face was a shock. 

After the initial nausea, the sudden yet not fulfilled urge to vomit, and a few minutes making sure I wasn’t going to pass out; I collected my things and drove my damaged ego to urgent care. 

Turns out you don’t need stitches on the inside of your lip. Even though I split it wide open and spent the entire drive applying pressure to keep myself from swallowing a quarter of my own blood supply. Okay, that’s an exaggeration. 

The only thing that hurts more than my mouth is my pride. Well, these things happen. Won’t keep me from going back on Wednesday night.

Weigh-in: 180.8 (Curses weekend! I was 179.4 on Friday!) Jeans fit great, but I’ll be going through some extra lip gloss the next few days. 

P.s. It is impossible to get a good photo of the inside of a split lip without causing yourself extreme pain. 

Tough week, positivity

That dieting thing is up and it’s down. Something I’m coming to terms with, I will never have a good diet. They say this kind of change requires dedication, control, and time. Well, I hate it. It makes me unhappy, and the whole point of this experiment is to be happier. I’ve decided that instead of completely changing what I eat, I just need to change how I eat. Portion control will be key to this. We’re already better about eating at home instead of out, it’s just a matter of eating things at home I like rather than forcing myself to eat things I hate because “it’s healthier.”

DIAFscaleThe scale is not cooperating lately and it can just DIAF. So it’s gone up in the last week, but it hasn’t gone up a whole pound so it doesn’t count (granted it’s supposed to go down 2 pounds a week.) Part of this is going to be affected by previously mentioned conditions. I’m not strictly dieting, and I’m in this for endurance and muscle gain. While the scale says I haven’t lost weight, my belt holes tell a different story. (That and the annoying bunching of the waist of my jeans under the belt.)

Now for the really positive: I did barbell squats for real this time. My trainer pointed out that six months ago I had so little balance that I couldn’t get low into a sitting position without falling. Thankfully he had placed a bench beneath me for this very purpose, but to fall onto the bench and not be able to stand back up without help… it was a pretty terrible feeling deep down. Why was I doing this to myself? What was the point? I’m stronger and better than this…

Yesterday morning, I was able to squat, touch the bench, and stand back up with no issues. Three sets of 12. This is a pretty big deal for me. Next step is to do it with weight added O_oimg_1883

Weight in: 182.8 lbs  Jeans are a comfortable size 12 and my t-shirts look amazing.

The tale of the accidental motivator (or don’t be that person)

The first thing they really pushed about this whole Biggest Loser program is that you can make friends and socialize. That’s great and all. Finding people you can partner with and use to motivate each other is great. As social as I am outside of the gym, I am far less so than at the gym. I’m there for one thing: to get fit. I will chat with my teammates, I will help motivate everyone, but I am not there to socialize and make friends.

Case in point:

Circuit training is hard. That’s why we do it. HIIT style circuits suck balls but are totally worth the effort. So when the trainer is counting down the last 10 seconds of the interval and starts repeating himself at four, you can bet your ass someone isn’t paying attention. Look up to see two of the older ladies have completely stopped working out and are standing around deep in conversation. So the trainer is repeating FOUR
for about 10 seconds in an attempt to get them to realize that they are actually creating more work and effort for everyone else and since I’m stuck in burpee hell I am milliseconds away from walking over and hitting them with their own talkerdumbbells. When they finally pay attention, one of them has the audacity to say “What? We were talking.”

OFFS.

This is why I don’t socialize at the gym. Maybe before class. Maybe after class. Definitely not during. It’s far too distracting.

Another case in point:

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People who are so distracted that they don’t pay attention to what the trainer is saying. If you ask me what the exercise is, there is a very good chance that I will lie to you. We’ve all paid a lot of money to be apart of that program and we expect to see results. I am not going to see results if I have to spend 15-20 seconds of my workout time explaining what the exercise is. It’s going to piss me the fuck off and I’m going to tell you the wrong thing so that it will hopefully humiliate you into doing your damn job and paying attention!

These people motivate me to NOT BE LIKE THEM.

Finally:

If you are going to be either of these people, aside from the fact that you are motivating people to be nothing like you; I swear to go I had better not hear you complain about not making any progress. You only get back what you put in. If you don’t put in any effort you aren’t getting shit out of it. We’re here to work, lose weight, gain strength, and be healthier people; not to make your new best friend.

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Week four complete. Today’s weigh-in 184.4 lbs. Down 2.2 lbs overall. Still climbing the hill.