In absence I eat (and drink)

It’s been awhile. That happens. Life does it’s thing, which usually involves taking you for a ride you didn’t ask to go on. I like to tell myself that I will budget time better, but I always know it’s a bit of a white lie.

It’s not easy trying to juggle parenthood and a work schedule. Throw into that a house that has a sudden vendetta against you, and a toddler that is getting molars, and well, this isn’t the roller coaster I thought I was getting on. Best we can do is take it day-to-day and keep chugging forward.

Mix all this together and you get tighter jeans.

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It’s been almost three months since the end of Biggest Loser and I’m barely maintaining a once a week presence at the gym. Some weeks are better than others. I have only fluctuated weight a couple of pounds, but I can tell I’ve been losing muscle, which means I’m offsetting it with fat. This is largely due to a terrible schedule which drives me to eat whatever I can get my hands on, whenever I can get it.

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Sure there are healthy meal and snack options out there, but previous posts have made it pretty clear that I’m a picky eater and I am not one to knosh on raw carrots (or any vegetables for that matter). In addition to poor eating habits, I’ve been enjoying a beer (or two) on a nightly basis. I love me some beer, and we’ve had some really great beer on tap at work. It’s hard to turn down a free beverage after a long shift when you know it’s only going to be on the line for a few days.

 

 

 

I told myself I wouldn’t fall into this trap, as Biggest Loser was tying up. However, a lack of funds kept me from signing up for classes. A toddler who shits himself 30 minutes into a workout (I swear to god that kid is running his bowel movements on a timer that is based on my workouts), makes maintaining momentum impossible. Now we’ve hit the terrible two’s and second molars, and so pleasing the child has been difficult. Which means I don’t get the workouts I want, when I want. tantrum.gif

I can keep making up excuses, trust me, I’m pretty fucking good at it.  What it really comes down to is putting my foot down and demanding me time. Something I have never been good at. Telling other people “no” does not come easy to me. Being the people pleaser keeps me from doing things for me.

caring too much.gifAs a co-worker stated the other day, I have to learn to take care of me before I take care of others (with the exception of the bi-polar demon child). That means saying “no”, that means going to the gym when I want to go to the gym, it also means turning down a free beer and maybe skipping the peanut butter cookie (brushes crumbs off her keyboard).

So how does one say “no” when it’s in her nature to say “yes?” Not asking for a friend, legit trying to teach myself such a simple task.

You call that a diet?

I hold nothing back when it comes to what is the hardest part of this whole biggest loser thing: diet. My diet is bad. Bad is not a strong enough adjective. Fucking awful almost cuts it. Food is amazing. Food is wonderful. Food makes me happy. I am also pickier than a  Senior cheerleader at the high school dance.

If one more person tells me that “you can’t outrun a bad diet” I just may murder them. I love bad food, I hate good food, and I am surprisingly well versed in diet in relation to weight loss and body transformation. I know that what I am putting into my body is, in many cases, the wrong choice. Reminding me does us no good. Helping me find alternatives is helpful.

While I type this, I suppose it’s fair to mention that beer and ipadI’ve blown my calorie count for the day and the beer I’m drinking is not helping.

I’ve nailed down breakfast. Either a jar of Peanut Butter Chocolate Overnight Oats, or something simple like whole wheat toast and a couple of slices of bacon. The oats I make in three-day batches and they are tasty, 220 calories, and if my kid gets a hold of them it’s not that big of a deal. Toast is easy enough, and bacon I bake a pound at a time and freeze. Toss a couple of slices in the microwave for 20 seconds and your golden. The key, for me of the parenting type, is to be in and out of the kitchen in less than a minute. Otherwise the toddler decides the kitchen is a super cool place to play.

Breakfast is easy (and at least I’m having breakfast now!)

Lunch, is another matter. Days at home with the toddler I can usually eat when he goes down for a nap. Lately it’s been an egg white sandwich on whole wheat toast with a slice of mild cheddar and bacon. All in, about 365 calories. Sometimes I’m lucky enough to have some dinner leftovers, which is usually some sort of chicken thing. Work days I’m lucky if I get to eat anything other than a yogurt cup.

Dinner consists mostly of chicken. So much chicken. Pinterest is our friend, yay for garlic and brown sugar chicken. The struggle is finding something to go with the chicken. I hate vegetables. Guys, you can’t save me, don’t bother making suggestions. Green vegetables are the worst. They taste like grass (yes, I know what a lawn taste like, don’t ask) and can’t be redeemed. Non-green vegetables (Carrots!) taste amazing with brown sugar, or honey, or lots of butter, or… wait that fucking doesn’t help anything. If a person hates vegetables, and is trying to eat healthier, what does one have with all that chicken? The answer is red potatoes. 

Here is the difficult part: work. I work at a very popular pizza joint (18 years Madison’s Most Popular Pizza as voted on by Madison Magazine Readers). They are very kind to us and supply us with free food throughout the day/night. I love pizza. I love our pizza. I would eat a lot of pizza. I have been very good lately and have been avoiding the free pizza (I didn’t on Tuesday and it was the best fucking slice of pizza I have had in my life.) The days I work are a constant struggle with temptation. The last few weeks I’ve made sure to bring a yogurt cup to get me through a shift. Thankfully, my hatred of vegetables has helped in that they like to give us a lot of free pizzas with lots of vegetables on them and instead of picking them off, I just turn my nose up like some kind of pizza snob. (The answer is Pepperoni, BTW).

I always have a good week (last week) followed by a not-so-good-week (It’s only Thursday?) I figure if I can at least maintain that then I’ll get somewhere. Eventually.

So you can’t outrun a bad diet, but I’ll keep on trying.

Wednesday weigh-in 182.0lbs. These size 12 Rockstar jeans are looking pretty sweet right now.

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Fuck.