In absence I eat (and drink)

It’s been awhile. That happens. Life does it’s thing, which usually involves taking you for a ride you didn’t ask to go on. I like to tell myself that I will budget time better, but I always know it’s a bit of a white lie.

It’s not easy trying to juggle parenthood and a work schedule. Throw into that a house that has a sudden vendetta against you, and a toddler that is getting molars, and well, this isn’t the roller coaster I thought I was getting on. Best we can do is take it day-to-day and keep chugging forward.

Mix all this together and you get tighter jeans.

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It’s been almost three months since the end of Biggest Loser and I’m barely maintaining a once a week presence at the gym. Some weeks are better than others. I have only fluctuated weight a couple of pounds, but I can tell I’ve been losing muscle, which means I’m offsetting it with fat. This is largely due to a terrible schedule which drives me to eat whatever I can get my hands on, whenever I can get it.

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Sure there are healthy meal and snack options out there, but previous posts have made it pretty clear that I’m a picky eater and I am not one to knosh on raw carrots (or any vegetables for that matter). In addition to poor eating habits, I’ve been enjoying a beer (or two) on a nightly basis. I love me some beer, and we’ve had some really great beer on tap at work. It’s hard to turn down a free beverage after a long shift when you know it’s only going to be on the line for a few days.

 

 

 

I told myself I wouldn’t fall into this trap, as Biggest Loser was tying up. However, a lack of funds kept me from signing up for classes. A toddler who shits himself 30 minutes into a workout (I swear to god that kid is running his bowel movements on a timer that is based on my workouts), makes maintaining momentum impossible. Now we’ve hit the terrible two’s and second molars, and so pleasing the child has been difficult. Which means I don’t get the workouts I want, when I want. tantrum.gif

I can keep making up excuses, trust me, I’m pretty fucking good at it.  What it really comes down to is putting my foot down and demanding me time. Something I have never been good at. Telling other people “no” does not come easy to me. Being the people pleaser keeps me from doing things for me.

caring too much.gifAs a co-worker stated the other day, I have to learn to take care of me before I take care of others (with the exception of the bi-polar demon child). That means saying “no”, that means going to the gym when I want to go to the gym, it also means turning down a free beer and maybe skipping the peanut butter cookie (brushes crumbs off her keyboard).

So how does one say “no” when it’s in her nature to say “yes?” Not asking for a friend, legit trying to teach myself such a simple task.

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Cliche alert:

We’re in the final week of Biggest Loser and I’m feeling pretty proud of myself.

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I’m also feeling like a bit of a grump because I have cut calories to around 1100 a day, cut most carbs, and refuse to have a beer until Sunday. (Please hold out, please hold out, please hold out).

In the second half of the program I have done better than expected. My diet still isn’t great. I’m not hitting the targets that my trainers would have liked me to. But they can suck a rock. Those diets suck and I’m a healthy and mostly happy individual. I’m more active than I have been in years and I’m losing weight at about 1.5 lbs a week. It’s not the 2-3 lbs a week they would like to have seen, but remember, I wasn’t in this for the extreme weight loss.

I am definitely getting stronger, which means more muscle, which means the scale is a bullshit judge of success.

In saying that, however, I am one of the more successful members of my teams. I’m seeing a better weight loss than most members. I am seeing a huge improvement in strength and endurance. My trainers are very happy with my progress in class and I have been class MVP twice!

On Thursday, I am doing an Infrared Body Wrap as a last-ditch effort to make my final goal by Sunday. I have two free sessions from the whole MVP thing and while it sounds like bullshit, it is free. I do this for Science! There will definitely be a report back on results.

Only seven days remain. My final goal is 170 lbs at Sunday’s final weigh-in. I’ve got my mind-set and I know I can hit that goal. If I can push it to 168, that will put me at 10% weight loss in the 12 weeks.

Saturdays weigh-in: 175.6 lbs. Longest plank time recorded at 1:50!

Tough week, positivity

That dieting thing is up and it’s down. Something I’m coming to terms with, I will never have a good diet. They say this kind of change requires dedication, control, and time. Well, I hate it. It makes me unhappy, and the whole point of this experiment is to be happier. I’ve decided that instead of completely changing what I eat, I just need to change how I eat. Portion control will be key to this. We’re already better about eating at home instead of out, it’s just a matter of eating things at home I like rather than forcing myself to eat things I hate because “it’s healthier.”

DIAFscaleThe scale is not cooperating lately and it can just DIAF. So it’s gone up in the last week, but it hasn’t gone up a whole pound so it doesn’t count (granted it’s supposed to go down 2 pounds a week.) Part of this is going to be affected by previously mentioned conditions. I’m not strictly dieting, and I’m in this for endurance and muscle gain. While the scale says I haven’t lost weight, my belt holes tell a different story. (That and the annoying bunching of the waist of my jeans under the belt.)

Now for the really positive: I did barbell squats for real this time. My trainer pointed out that six months ago I had so little balance that I couldn’t get low into a sitting position without falling. Thankfully he had placed a bench beneath me for this very purpose, but to fall onto the bench and not be able to stand back up without help… it was a pretty terrible feeling deep down. Why was I doing this to myself? What was the point? I’m stronger and better than this…

Yesterday morning, I was able to squat, touch the bench, and stand back up with no issues. Three sets of 12. This is a pretty big deal for me. Next step is to do it with weight added O_oimg_1883

Weight in: 182.8 lbs  Jeans are a comfortable size 12 and my t-shirts look amazing.